That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
