She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
