okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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