You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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