how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
