I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
