laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize