...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize