Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
