We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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