Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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