dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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