eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
