Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
