The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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