So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
