non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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