talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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