We're facebook friends in real life
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
