i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
