I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I will pee on everything he values.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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