It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
