Don't you send me to vm
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
