ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
