Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
