At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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