her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize