I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
