You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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