What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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