No stitches, just platelets and will power
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
