i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
