walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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