Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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