I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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