I can tuck mytits in my pants
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize