totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
