Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize