Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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