So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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