She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
