Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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