I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
