My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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