I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
