I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
