the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
