Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize