Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
