Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
