Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize