I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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