I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
