i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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