wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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