i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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