i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
