Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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