He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
