This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
